Zombie Trying to Find a Job Because A Dead Girl’s Gotta Shop

Here are three things that you should know about money.

Stacks of money

Money money money

 
1.            It’s green.
2.            I don’t have any.
3.            I want a lot of it.
 
Those are the three most important things you need to know about money. So let me ask you, where is a dead girl supposed to get cash? I don’t know. I’ve tried to get a job but so far my luck has not been good. I think it’s probably the references, of which I have none, or maybe the work experience, which I don’t really have either. It could also be because as a form of identification, I have my Death Certificate.
 
I mean, I can understand why the whole babysitting thing might not have worked out. Parents typically don’t zombies watching their children. Maybe they don’t think I’d be responsible enough or something like that. I keep my cat alive. For the most part. Cats are pretty cool about keeping themselves somewhat maintained.
 
So okay, maybe I’m not a babysitter. That’s fine. I’m not really a huge fan of kids anyways. They’re kind of creepy. Food service job then? It comes back to the whole being dead thing I think. Something about it being a health hazard to have me working around the food. Like I’m full of germs or something. Please. At least I wash my hands more than once a week. And I bathe on a daily basis. Which is way more than I can say for some of those burger flippers.
 
minimum wage, money

I’ll take it!

I didn’t want to be a burger flipper anyways. I’ve heard that working in a restaurant makes you always smell like greasy food after you get off. Gross. That’s definitely not my cup of tea.  Mmm… Tea.

 
Alright, so babysitting and fast food are not going to work. I haven’t heard back from anyone else yet. You’d think that I would be a hot commodity with my unique skill set. But apparently not. Maybe they’re just intimidated by my awesomeness. I can say the same thing about guys I think. Just intimidated by my awesomeness.
 
Well, I’m going to get back to my job search. If you know of something though, that would overlook the zombie thing, let me know. Until next time, don’t get bit.
 
Z

 

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4 thoughts on “Zombie Trying to Find a Job Because A Dead Girl’s Gotta Shop

  1. Hmm, yeah, health policies and all of that. Makes being a zombie really hard. Oh well. I’m sure you can find a job somewhere- kid birthday parties maybe? You can pretend the zombie-ness is a costume. Make a ton of cash.

    • Excellent idea! I should try that. Kids are into zombies, right? And I can kind of make a balloon animal. Well, I can like, take an already blown up balloon and twist it into something that resembles a balloon animal. I think people would pay top dollar for that.

  2. Pingback: Eating One Direction is on My List of Possible Outings | diaryofadeadchick

  3. Pingback: Zombie Finally Got Hired | diaryofadeadchick

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