Blind Dates Gone Bad and Cheap

Seriously, worst blind date ever. I mean, I’m not even kidding about this. First of all, recent college graduate? The man was in his early forties, I don’t remember exactly how old. So maybe in the past few decades he was a recent college graduate, sure. I might be dead, but I’m not desperate. That’s for sure.

bad date

Photo by oldsweetsong.com

Second, besides just being way too old. He was balding and pretty gray, which just added to the whole feeling like I was dating my dad sort of feel going on there. I mean, awkward.

bugs in salad

Photo by pamelaho.wordpress.com

Also, just to add to his oldness and parental feel of the whole ordeal, he ordered for me. Even though I tried to order for myself, but he decided I should have a salad, which he ordered for me and a glass of some fancy but pretty bitter and gross red wine. I don’t remember the name of that either. In case you were wondering, I’ve decided to block out a lot of the date.

Really though, not letting me order for myself is just rude and kind of weird. Besides, why a salad? I’m dead, my diet isn’t really a big worry as far as I’m concerned. I should have just eaten him. What a weirdo. Ugh… And, he smelled really bizarre. Like, I get that I’m dead and stuff, but at least I don’t stink. I think he bathed in a bottle of some drug store cologne, he really went all out for this, I’m sure. One of his shoes had a hole in it too. Like I wouldn’t notice his mismatched sock sticking out? Hello, I have eyes.

bad date

Photo by inthecapital.streetwise.co

If he were blind maybe he’d have had an excuse. But he wasn’t, at least I’m pretty sure he wasn’t. The way he stared at each and every waitress that walked past the table. So rude, again. Like I wasn’t sitting there, wearing a cute new dress and I even did my make up and hair. Not that I wanted the old dude to be into me, I just figured he didn’t need to be so blatantly open about the whole thing.

After we finished dinner, and paid the check, fifty/fifty by the way, he didn’t leave a tip. At all. Not even a penny. Like, what the heck is wrong with this dude? Seriously. But whatever. I left after dinner, thankfully he wasn’t in the mood for a movie. Although he did have the audacity to ask for a second date, as if I enjoyed the first one? There was no conversation even. He just talked the whole time about his pet hamster, seriously. A hamster. What sort of adult man keeps a hamster? It’s weird.

Goodnight, diary. Don’t get bit.

-Z

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