Now don’t get me wrong here, I am all for zombie equality, equal rights and whatever. So that’s not what I’m saying. Just not cheerleaders. No.
Let me back up a second. So Dr. Smiley still doesn’t think I’m social enough or whatever. So he decided he was going to suggest all of these stupid activities I could join. Or at least try to join so I could be more involved and whatever. Like I really need to do that. Idiot. Anyways, at the very top of his list, was join a cheerleading team. Like, hello? Have you ever met me? Do I seem to be the cheerleader type to you? I don’t think so. But whatever. Apparently Dr. S assumed my protesting was because I didn’t think people would like a zombie cheerleader. Honestly, I have no idea. They might be into it for all I know, but I for one, am not.
Just to show him why, I wrote a list of reasons zombies should not be cheerleaders.
Zombies do not make good cheerleaders because:
1. Lack of flexibility
3. Not very peppy
4. Growling does not sound like cheering, it just sounds like growling maybe with a little moaning mixed in
5. Cheerleaders are supposed to be attractive and I’m not saying zombies are ugly but they aren’t always pretty
6. They can get hungry and eat the team
7. Or the fans
8. Or the other cheerleaders
9. Not very aerodynamic so not good for throwing into the air
10. Also probably not good at catching people
11. Or at throwing them into the air
I have never understood the interest in being a cheerleader anyways, to be perfectly honest. I don’t know, maybe I just never got the whole cheering thing in general. I mean, guys cheer at sporting events but they don’t do it in skirts that are too short and do choreographed movements with their backs to the team.
But I digress. I’m just stating my humble opinion. I guess if you really feel the need to be a dead cheerleader, who am I to stop you from doing something with the rest of your undead life. Go for it I guess. Give me a Z! And don’t get bit.